letters from your suburban dad

"I want to go to the big library" "I want to read a book at the big playground" "Let's go to church" "I want to swing TOGETHER" "I want to go see Patrick and Miles at school" Me too, dear. Me too.

Now I get it. "The sandwich generation." I'm not quite there yet (heck, I'm not even 30 yet) but this COVID-19 thing has revealed a lot about what my parents can and can't do. Can Do: Garden easily and efficiently (seriously, Nainai has a little tin foil tent thing in her house where she's growing seedlings. It's amazing) Weather this storm financially (good job Yeye) Entertain themselves with no social lives Can't Do (at least not safely): Go grocery shopping in-person (arguably too much risk for a couple of 60 year olds) Automate online deliveries It's humbling and perhaps a taste of what is to come in the next 10-20 years.... Thankful to be alongside them for the wild ride though.

Dear Child, Things are tough right now. The world has been thrown into chaos by the COVID-19 pandemic. The last two months have been a roller coaster of stress and uncertainy; unfortunately, there are no clear signs that things will be slowing down anytime soon.  At the time I'm writing this, you're only two and a half years old. It's probably hard for you to understand what's going on, but your life hasn't been disrupted too much. Sure, you miss going to school to see your fellow toddler classmates, but I'd like to think that you appreciate the additional time you get with your mother and I each day. Source:  https://www.fox19.com/2020/03/27/photographer-capturing-covid-era-with-free-family-photos/ Unfortunately, for many families worldwide, things are far more dire. For starters, there's the financial side of things. Now, I don't say this lightly — but this pandemic has caused total economic devestation for so, so many people. Over 26 millio...

Dear Child, This may come as a surprise to you, but I wasn't always close with your grandparents. Like a lot of other folks, I grew a lot closer with my parents only after becoming a parent myself. You already know a bit about how helpful grandparents can be with childcare, but there's a multitude of other benefits to mental health, social capital, and free time that multigenerational families enjoy. Here are a few highlights that I hope you'll consider when your mom and I are old and empty nested... Mental Health : The first year of parenthood is really, really hard. Things go from exciting and joyous to chaos and exhaustion in a matter of weeks. Once your friends stop coming by to drop off meals and to fawn at the new baby, it's just you and your partner trying to survive! Postpartum depression is such a real, underreported issue that tens of thousands of women struggle with silently (Cheng et al., 2006).  Photo Credit: VectorStock So what do you do? Well,...

Dear Child,  Today was Saturday, so we got to hang out all day. Weekends are wonderful like that. But come Monday, it's back to the 9-to-5 grind for both your mother and I. After all, these bills aren't going to pay themselves! This probably isn't going to be news to you, but kids are expensive. I'm not singling you out in particular (although you sure eat a lot!); kids in general cost a lot to raise, from things like diapers and doctor's appointments to new clothes and toys. But have you ever stopped to think about how costly childcare is? Allhusen et al. (2006) paint a pretty dire picture of childcare costs in the United States. This was written back in 2006, but I think that it still rings true today: "T he Utopian view of the two-parent nuclear family living in the suburbs with father working nine to five while mother baked cookies and children played happily...has been replaced. Today, when there are cookies they are baked at midnight or bought at the ...